Movies are odd aren't they? They come along, some are destined
to be classics, some get a second life on video as "cult"
favorites, some just bomb or some are such a specialty that they
are seen by a select few and wallow in obscurity. But it is always
they same thing from the filmmaker. "No one ever sets out
to make a bad film." Whether it be Orson Wells, Steven Spielberg
or John T. Bone, we always hear that same phrase. I wonder if
I could track down the maker of The Geek, he would have that same
response. The Geek, made by no one, starring no one, well no one
but a guy in a Bigfoot suit fashioned from brown corduroy slacks
and a tweed coat.
The Geek is a porno film. A porno film like I, myself, had never
witnessed when Jumpin Joe threw it in the VCR. Is it the only
known Bigfoot porno...only Sasquatch knows for sure?
This is basically a Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom gone terribly
wrong. Some "nature" lovers head out to enjoy the woods
and each other. Sex ensues, hard-core variety, the non-intimate
shaving variety. I actually like the look of the bushy butted
gals in this thing, unfortunately the fellas look like what the
guys in that "Almost Famous" movie would have really
looked like in the day. Unkempt flannel wearing goombas. But believe
me the person on person sex is not what The Geek is about. After
2 homosapien lovemaking sessions, the crew discovers Bigfoot,
the girl approaches, hand outstretched, Bigfoot gets a whiff and
he is off to the faces, delivering the goods Bigfoot-style. It
is kinda rape kinda not as I have mentioned before the line between
consensual and nonconsensual was really blurry in the 60's and
70's and the girls seem to struggle and then kinda grind along...oh
well, were you expecting political correctness in a Bigfoot fuck
I am putting out this review really to draw attention to films
that seem to not have a place anywhere. Why was this made, where
was it shown, who saw this, who are these people? All very valid
questions. Did a guy show up, pecker in hand ready to get a nut,
head back to the office and forget the day's stresses at the grindhouse,
when all of a sudden "whaaaahahaa, holy shit" he is
trapped watching something he had just seen on "In Search
Of" delivering the rather hirsute hump organ. Oddity? For
sure. I'd call it the Rubik's Cube of film because by the time
you figured out why someone would do this you'd be too damn bored
to care. Long live eccentric cinema and the folks who watch the
stuff. I guess, and long live you my small weinered, large pedded
stank man. You should be proud.
Oh by the way for serious Bigfoot huntin' click
|Just Like A Guy Never,
Wants To Cuddle.
Gestapo Black Exploitation?
From Tobacco Row It's Good!
Squad Join Today!
Meateater Do Not Touch!
Stranger Run Run Opie!
House On Hwy 5 Sheesh!
Locked Doors It's Dirty!
Massacre Some Like It.
Pussy It had to be done
Alley It is Rock.
Woman Truck. Woman.
Freak A Classic for You!
Geek Bigfoot Porn
School Ghosthustlers Wow!
Island You Must See!
Not that kinda Cock!
Alienator Feeling Alienated?
Island Vanity and the Beast
Spree Tim Ritter's $0 budget wonder
Prof. Tread still can't sleep.
Tramp She is sumpin' else.
Footmen Tire You...? Heavy religiosity!
Knievel Evel of Course!
Killing Of A Chinese Bookie! Smart Guy.
Pink Angels Gayness, and Bikes
Burning The 80's, ahhh the 80's.
- The Winged Serpant! Larry Cohen rules!
For Your Life! WARNING Racist content
Tall Buford Pusser in the Hizouse!
Camp Internet Geeks Unite!
Losers Ya Loser!
of the Mutilated Bro. George gets busy.
Me An Angel Gal Biker and more.
Grim Reaper Reap on.
One of William Girdler's triumphs.
At Dawn A Modern Classic.
Boy Carradine, Dress, Dourif!
Hollywood Rape-Slaughter Rare expose'.
Savage Weekend. Take
Dead and Buried.
A Should-be Classic.
Summer In Barefoot County. PeeUww!
Night Train To
Terror Choo Choo!
Drink Your Blood Glug, glug!
Russ Meyer and breasts!
Stop Women Honnnk HonnnnK!
Deadly Darling! Pigs!
the Germ Fighter! Clean up!
Doesn't Cathy Eat Breakfast? Why?!
County Express! Glug, Glug!
The Night God Screamed!
White Dog Racists
City Slickers get offed!
Times Five Sean MacGregor's Titantic!
at the Red Wolf Inn Burp!
Eyes See It
Greatest Sinner One of the best!
Baby! Goo Goo!
Camp Nightmare Viva the Revolution!
of the Beast Creatures Booga!
Play Dead Incest craziness!
of Death Vacation madness!
Come, Evil Go! Bye, Bye Sinners!
Strutters Get Black Sucker!
Pretty Eddie Deep South Craziness!
Golem Jewish Folklore or what?
NYC Apartment Blues
To Kill A Clown
Alan Alda Vietnam Vet!
Spook Who Sat Next To The Door Booya!
Woke Up Early The Day I Died Mr. Ed Wood.
Mutilation Man Andy Copp goes arty on us!
People Across The Lake Good TV!
Woman Hunt Load Up Gents.
Devil At You Heels Daring Devil.
Are The Damned Dammit!
Farm TV movie Classic!