What makes a cult film?
It could be any number of factors; cast, story, music, director.
But if I had to hazard a guess, I'd be willing to bet that the
reason TANYA'S ISLAND (1980) has gained cult status is because
of the performance of Richard Sargent as "Lobo". Either that or
because it has Vanity screwing a monkey. Yeah, that's probably
it. Richard Sargent I mean.
Vanity plays Tanya, a gorgeous, vapid, unintelligent, stupid,
stupid young lady who is on vacation with Lobo, her artist lover
who quickly establishes himself as the villain of the film, not
just because he looks like a Doobie Brother, but because he's
a jealous shitheel. They're alone on a tropical island by the
way, giving the movie a real Emmanuelle type-look. Actually the
whole thing screams Laura Gemser. Wouldn't be much of a movie
with just those two though, so we get a suitor for Tanya's affections.
And it's a monkey. A big monkey. A big Rick Baker created monkey.
A big Rick Baker created monkey who looks a lot like Jack Palance.
Vanity starts sneaking off with this very dangerous looking creature
(who she names "Blue") and Lobo is instantly jealous. Then it's
man against beast time for possession of the only chick for 300
miles, the "Nasty Girl" herself. Along the way Lobo becomes more
and more savage and Blue becomes sympathetic and Tanya is still
rock-stupid. I think there's supposed a lot of really deep messages
in here about how man is the true animal or women are just the
spoils of war or something but who cares? VANITY SCREWS A MONKEY!
Think A.I. has Vanity screwing a monkey? Now which one would you
rather see? OOK-OOK!
|Okay here is what
you want...Vanity gets it.
|This guy makes Prince
look like a little pussy...wait a minute Prince is a little
|Jesus loves me yes
|I was gonna make
a joke about Charles Darwin, now I forgot.
Gestapo Black Exploitation?
From Tobacco Row It's Good!
Squad Join Today!
Meateater Do Not Touch!
Stranger Run Run Opie!
House On Hwy 5 Sheesh!
Locked Doors It's Dirty!
Massacre Some Like It.
Pussy It had to be done
Alley It is Rock.
Woman Truck. Woman.
Freak A Classic for You!
Geek Bigfoot Porn
School Ghosthustlers Wow!
Island You Must See!
Not that kinda Cock!
Alienator Feeling Alienated?
Island Vanity and the Beast
Spree Tim Ritter's $0 budget wonder
Prof. Tread still can't sleep.
Tramp She is sumpin' else.
Footmen Tire You...? Heavy religiosity!
Knievel Evel of Course!
Killing Of A Chinese Bookie! Smart Guy.
Pink Angels Gayness, and Bikes
Burning The 80's, ahhh the 80's.
- The Winged Serpant! Larry Cohen rules!
For Your Life! WARNING Racist content
Tall Buford Pusser in the Hizouse!
Camp Internet Geeks Unite!
Losers Ya Loser!
of the Mutilated Bro. George gets busy.
Me An Angel Gal Biker and more.
Grim Reaper Reap on.
One of William Girdler's triumphs.
At Dawn A Modern Classic.
Boy Carradine, Dress, Dourif!
Hollywood Rape-Slaughter Rare expose'.
Savage Weekend. Take
Dead and Buried.
A Should-be Classic.
Summer In Barefoot County. PeeUww!
Night Train To
Terror Choo Choo!
Drink Your Blood Glug, glug!
Russ Meyer and breasts!
Stop Women Honnnk HonnnnK!
Deadly Darling! Pigs!
the Germ Fighter! Clean up!
Doesn't Cathy Eat Breakfast? Why?!
County Express! Glug, Glug!
The Night God Screamed!
White Dog Racists
City Slickers get offed!
Times Five Sean MacGregor's Titantic!
at the Red Wolf Inn Burp!
Eyes See It
Greatest Sinner One of the best!
Baby! Goo Goo!
Camp Nightmare Viva the Revolution!
of the Beast Creatures Booga!
Play Dead Incest craziness!
of Death Vacation madness!
Come, Evil Go! Bye, Bye Sinners!
Strutters Get Black Sucker!
Pretty Eddie Deep South Craziness!
Golem Jewish Folklore or what?
NYC Apartment Blues
To Kill A Clown
Alan Alda Vietnam Vet!
Spook Who Sat Next To The Door Booya!
Woke Up Early The Day I Died Mr. Ed Wood.
Mutilation Man Andy Copp goes arty on us!
People Across The Lake Good TV!
Woman Hunt Load Up Gents.
Devil At You Heels Daring Devil.
Are The Damned Dammit!
Farm TV movie Classic!