Remember the 80's? Remember music in the 80's? Remember all the
psycho-sexual interplay of men not afraid to be androgenous, of
girls with overly inflated hairstyles, tight jeans and lace gloves
and veils. And the tunes, from new wave to faux metal to AOR rock-drivel
about everything from "scarecrows" to "refugees."
Well stop the romanticizing and pay attention to me here. What
Cameron Crowe and his film "Almost Famous" did to renew
early 70's rock nostalgia in all us dipshits 30 and over is absolutely
nothing like this film even though it really is basically the
exact same type of movie. THUNDER ALLEY was made in 1985...Directed
by J.S. Cardone, who believe it or not is still hacking them up
in 2001 and is best known to schlock fans for directing Terror
Island, which was banned in England before they chopped 14 seconds
of Terror to get it in. But to be honest, the direction, the filmwork,
the live music sequences, the actors performances are all handled
very capably by Mr. Cardone...then why does no one care?
Talking about movies like this is something we don't do around
BOF much, but it makes for an interesting topic. What makes us
love some reall shitty movies, and loath some very fine films
and then have totally no feeling whatsoever about many flicks
that roll down the pike. Thunder Alley brings the last description
to mind. No feeling.
Thunder Alley is about a band...Magic, I believe they are called,
they are a bunch of buddies, nice boys, Leif Garrett is the singer,
but he is not the star. A friend of the keyboardist is just a
country boy who happens to jam on Les Pauls when he is not dirt
farming. Sure not very original but look at Almost Famous, a nerdy
kid writes for his school newspaper and gets discovered by Lester
Bangs and later by Rolling Stone magazine... see what I mean neither
premise is that original or dynamic. Scott McGinnis is the famer
guy, he joins the band on a lark just by the keyboardist draggin'
him in for one song. So it is on, they are playing locally, doing
okay, they get discovered by the local music honcho, he sends
them on a regional tour and walla' we are privvy to the horrible
undebelly of live music,
From redneck good ol' boy bars, to club managers who try and
cheat you out of cash, to groupies, ultimately to drugs and even
death. Along the line we got nudity, bad over processed 80's rock,
incredibly bad fashion sense from one Leif Garrett, who at this
point in his career was, get this, 8 years past his prime...his
alcohol and drug abuse was at its height and if you watched the
gripping "Behind the Music" he came mighty close to
killing his best friend, ultimately paralyzing him and not talking
to him or his family for over 20 years. Well Leif is dying to
be Simon Lebon is this movie but unfortunately did we all in 1985
and like the rest of us, Leif fails.
Watching this movie and just looking at clips of the film really
reminds me how fucking "gay" rock music was...the "metal"
band in the film "Surgical Steel" is a Judas Preist
ripoff and they are playing with actual Rainbow flags on each
side of the stage. I cannot believe I never sucked a cock in the
80's. I mean the "rockin" was so damn "non-rock"
Keyboards, pastel colors, big hair, frozen coctails, I am pretty
sure if I had had the misfortune of a gay guitar teacher I would
have ended up bent over a Marshall Half-Stack, studying the bridge
to Red Barchetta while a warm load landed in the small of my back
and tangled my rat tail. Fortunately, I discovered a gal named
Missy and she reminded me that she had boobs and saved my future
from the possiblity of denying my homsexual tendencies by playing
in a Christian Rock Outfit. Hey not that there is a damn thing
wrong with being gay, but hey, beard burn on my thighs just doesn't
seem fab and I hate the smell of shit. Not to mention that Christian
Rawk is neither. Show me some love for God sake guys...shut the
This movie supposedly wants to take you down the road to ruin
and redeem you in the end...just exactly like Almost Famous. It
even uses original music instead of rehashed "classic rock"
but still never gets it done. I sound shocked, well not really,
but after watching Thunder Alley, you realize that the similarity
between a lot of movies and their succes may ultimately lie in
the amount of jazz oxfords on the screen. Whatever that means.
Hey Leif is still around, check out the Melvins album, The Crybaby,
where Leif and the Mels cover "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
and Scott McGinnis, well, he is directing....get a load of this,
"Angel" the Buffy, spin-off. Hmmm, I might watch this
again, fuck I think I have some leg-warmers in my underwear drawer.
Oh yeah, before I forget, Clancy Brown plays the roadie, he has
been in everything from Bad Boys, to Buckaroo Banzai, to voices
on everything from SpongeBob Squarepants to the new JLA cartoon,
and he my good friends, is the shit.
Leif fans click here
Discuss this baby.
Black Gestapo Black
Girl From Tobacco Row
Rape Squad Join
The Meateater Do
Dixie Dynamite POW!
Run Stranger Run
Horror House On Hwy 5
Behind Locked Doors It's
Nailgun Massacre Some
Bat Pussy It had to
Thunder Alley It is
Blood Freak A Classic
The Geek Bigfoot Porn
High School Ghosthustlers
Frankenstein Island You
SuperCock Not that kinda
The Alienator Feeling
Angel Midnight Fantasy
Vanity and the Beast
Tim Ritter's $0 budget wonder
Nightmare Prof. Tread
still can't sleep.
Shanty Tramp She is sumpin'
If Footmen Tire You...?
Viva' Knievel Evel of
The Killing Of A Chinese
Bookie! Smart Guy.
The Pink Angels Gayness,
The Burning The 80's,
ahhh the 80's.
Q - The Winged Serpant! Larry
Fight For Your Life!
WARNING Racist content
Walking Tall Buford Pusser
in the Hizouse!
Sleepaway Camp Internet
Born Losers Ya Loser!
Shriek of the Mutilated
Bro. George gets busy.
Bury Me An Angel
Gal Biker and more.
The Grim Reaper Reap
Abby One of William Girdler's
Deadbeat At Dawn A
Sonny Boy Carradine,
Great Hollywood Rape-Slaughter
Savage Weekend. Take
Dead and Buried. A Should-be
Hot Summer In Barefoot
Night Train To Terror
I Drink Your Blood Glug,
Vixen Russ Meyer and breasts!
Truck Stop Women Honnnk
Daddy's Deadly Darling!
Flesh Feast Maggots!
Soapy the Germ Fighter!
Why Doesn't Cathy Eat Breakfast?
Moonshine County Express!
The Night God Screamed!
White Dog Racists Pets!
Hunter's Blood City
Slickers get offed!
Devil Times Five Sean
Terror at the Red Wolf Inn
Headless Eyes See It
World's Greatest Sinner
One of the best!
The Baby! Goo Goo!
Summer Camp Nightmare Viva
Attack of the Beast Creatures
Let's Play Dead Incest
Island of Death Vacation
Evil Come, Evil Go! Bye,
Darktown Strutters Get
Poor Pretty Eddie Deep
Miami Golem Jewish Folklore
Tenement NYC Apartment
To Kill A Clown Alan Alda Vietnam Vet!
The Spook Who Sat Next To
The Door Booya!
I Woke Up Early The Day I
Died Mr. Ed Wood.
The Mutilation Man Andy
Copp goes arty on us!
The People Across The Lake
The Woman Hunt Load Up
The Devil At You Heels
These Are The Damned
Crowhaven Farm TV movie