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BOF
Rant fer April
ITEM!!
WE'RE PLEASED AS PUNCH TO BE IN GENRENET!!!
Well, we are. Every Genrenet site we've seen is a darn fine waste
of bandwidth. Check out our Genrenet (sigh) "Hook-ups".
ITEM!!
WE'RE PROUD AS A COCKPEA TO BE IN "ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WEBRING"!!!
Now where do we get a banner? Hello, any 50 foot webring ringmates?
Can you e-mail us one? Hello?? Who's driving this bus?
ITEM!!!
BRAINSONFILM..COM WILL SOON HAVE MORE STUFF TO WATCH!! HONEST!!
We really will. Episode 2 is in the can and awaiting editing.
Selected "Classic"; "vintage"; or "old"; BOFs from the late 80's
will soon be made digital and uploaded and rationed out to you
slobs also . Sorry it's going so slow, but hey, we're depending
(for now) on the kindness of Brother George's freelance fly-by-night
flakey freaky-deaky (but benevolent and wise and kind and smart
with their expensive and generous good and good stuff) employers
for gratis editing time. We do our show on top flight pree-mo
fucking-a equipment and put some real effort into it so it takes
a bit longer than just putting up an animated gif of Britney Spears
blowing a moose. Which would get us about 100 times the hits we're
getting now and rate a mention in entertainment weekly. Anyway,
we're just flattered and tickled with the response we've gotten
so far so thanks a whole bunch. You guys are just super keen.
Every one of you. Now go buy a shirt.
ITEM!
BROTHER GEORGE- HUMBLE OR ASHAMED???
Do me a favor, go to the internet movie database and look up the
1993 film SAVAGE VENGEANCE. Seriously, you have time to spare
or you wouldn't be reading this. Ok, all done? See anyone in the
credits named George? No you don't, even the late (see
explanation at right) Camille Keaton used a fake name on
this thing in its original release. I saw this gem when a mutual
friend showed up one day and said "Hey, they let me rent this
for free because George is in it! ". Now I had known George for
several years at this point so I refused to believe that George
had been in a movie with Camille Keaton and never told me about
it. Then we watched it. There's Brother George, young and fresh
faced and as cute as the dickens, playing A RAPIST in Savage Vengeance.
There's Brother George playing A RAPIST RAPING CAMILLE KEATON
in Savage Vengeance. There's Brother George playing A RAPIST RAPING
CAMILLE KEATON AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT THE RAPIST WHO GETS (takes)
HEAD in Savage Vengeance. My mind was blown. Here's a good close
buddy of mine in a low budget "I Spit On Your Grave" rip-off With
the star of "I Spit On Your Grave" herself in a film so foodstamp
that it makes Troma look like Dreamworks. So I confronted him
about it. He shrugged it off, offering limp bon mots about the
production and how he filmed his own death scene, complete with
a crude, untested, George-built squib taped to the back of his
head (!!!) and his sweetie of a wife (subbing for an "off-screen"
Keaton) shoving a revolver in his mouth.
Can you imagine? Can you imagine not taking credit for being
in an even cheaper "tribute" to Roger Ebert's all time least favorite
flick? Can you imagine not telling everyone you know that you've
walked the same soil as that guy who played a retard in ISOYG?
Oh, you'll find Brother George on IMDB as a producer and as a
producer's assistant and hopefully soon as a director. But he
hides his small but profoundly forgettable part in straight to
video grindhouse fame. Why? Beats me. If I were him I'd pepper
every conversation with my Savage Vengeance anecdotes: "Yes Amber,
I'll have another, why not, I was in "Savage Vengeance"!!" Or
"Thanks for inviting me, I don't get out much now that I'm married
and raped the late Camille Keaton in Savage Vengeance". Or "Fuck
you officer!! I've worked with Donald Farmer!!!" That Brother
George, what a card.
ITEM!!
PROFESSOR TREAD IS GETTING ON MY NERVES ALSO!!!
Tread loves to knock Limp Bizket loving "Wiggaz"
but instead of a "links" page we have "hook-ups"???? E-mail him
and tell him he's full of shit. I 've done it so many times he
just tunes me out.
ITEM!!
YES, I AM FAT!!
Yeah ok, I could stand to lose quite a few pounds. Thanks to you
guys who took time to tell me I'm fat. Thank Christ for you guys,
I never would have figured it out. I'm glad Harry Knowles is around
to make me look like an internet fox. I have put on some table
weight but I'm working on shedding it. I've stopped eating meat
and am actively trying to work out every day. Hopefully I can
get back to my ideal weight. Here's a picture of me when I was
trim and yummy, a scant 5 months ago.
He's Just Fluffy!
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