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-Why does God want me to not date?? Last month I had a fab 1st date with a lovely, smart, sexy, together young woman. Since then we've experienced break ups with room-mates, full-blown FLU attacks, sick pets, huge fights with family members, attempted robberies, friends attempting suicides, basically everything but Bin Laden attacks. I don't know why the good Lord does not want me to date this girl but I will continue to attempt to buy sushi dinners for the young Miss Smokey. You hear me GOD!?!? I will court this filly! IIIIIIII WWWWWIIIILLLLLLL YOU DAMN DIRTY APES!!!!!!!!! (OK a little dramatic, but hey, I like the broad.)

-Scott Crosbie- nossir, we don't like him.
The most gratifying part of our bumper sticker war against our resident worthless fascist turd Scott Crosbie has been how many people honestly dislike the little prick. E-mail us if you would like a sticker, or just check around town. And for you cynics out there, yes, we are looking for as much free publicity as we can get. If we can cripple some asshole's future while we do it, hey, so much the better.

-Girdler!….GIRDLER!!…..MUTHAFUCKIN GIRDLER!!!! We met up with the supafine Girdler girl up there in Loserville and enjoyed the fuck out of our evening. Asylum Of Satan on the big screen? Shee-iit…….do I gotta tell ya how cool it was? And yes, she is just as pretty as her picture….gotta love a redhead, even if she is a damn yankee!

-Springs a 'comin peeps! If there is a drive in theater near you it will be opening it's gates soon for another summer of the way movies ought to be seen. Check your newspapers and go every chance you get. I got no respect for anyone who doesn't drool at the thought of a flick under the stars.

-Lethargy Baby!!- While Tread has been pumping out reviews I've been thinking about maybe writing a review once in a while. Maybe. I'll get us one sooner or later. (later. Much much later. Yawn.

-Video Screams! Video Wasteland! Witching Hour Video! Buy some friggin' tapes ya tool!

-Cheerleader night. Titties. Cigars. Vodka. Olives. Bags o' ice. Live music and embarrassments and delicious misunderstandings? Tee-hee . It won't cost you a fucking single thin dime. It's What we hope will be the most distasteful and ugly 3
hours in FRIGHTVISION history. Join us, join us, join us, JOIN US.

-Our site traffic continues to steadily increase. We thank and appreciate and love every one of ya. Tell your friends, who knows, we might get to the point of making money off this shit!! Kiss Kiss, and God bless you all, ya screwheads…….………..Joe

-AND ONE MORE THING! You fucking fucks never e-mail me a fucking thing. Please send me some fucking e-mail you fucking fucks. Assholes.

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Jumpin's' Rant Archives
Rant : 1 Humble & Key Lime Pie

Rant 2: Jumpin's FAQ

Rant 3: Itemized Joeisms

Rant 4: Gabba Gabba Dead

Rant 5: Joe being Joe!

Rant 6: The death of the "item."

Rant 7: Joe Stuffage!

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