Why Cloning Is Cool!
The other day at the day job, a world-remowned doctor aka. The
Sperm Doctor over at SpermRUs.com ( I shit you not) held a press
conference where he announced "I will clone a human within the
next year," at first I questioned his statement, I mean damn,
Jehovah Complex, then the phone in the office began to ring off
the hook. Assholes from 20/20, Nightline, CBS Morning Show, Today...hell
Stone Phillips showed up here in town even (imagine my embarassment,
when I reeled off " I love your work Mr. Tesh") you get the picture,
all of course wanting to give this a ton of coverage.
I started thinking about the moral implications of cloning (while
manually stimulating myself, of course) and I decided that cloning
is hellacious cool. Seriously, fucking cool.
Here are just a few reasons why... Christians absolutely hate
the idea of man playing god. This makes it cool right off because
it goes to figure that if it miffs the right wingers, it has to
be fun. I mean it is the new age of the W aka. WEPUBLICANS TM,
feel free to use that, just credit me, anyhoo, nothin' is going
to be to benign for the W's to come attackin'. They are gonna
come down on artists, check out New York City and the Yo' Mama's
Last Supper, the Piss Christ for the New Millenium.
Look for Hip Hop to be dragged over the coals, which I really
don't care as much since Public Enemy stopped putting records
on a regular basis, I mean if it stops you fucking Rap/Metal retards
from penning such socially relevant lyrics as "I did it all for
the Nookie, c'mon the Nookie so you can take that Cookie and Stick
it up your....
QUICK TECHNO TIP: Disable Fucking Cookies in your browsers
and see how many of the big boys refuse to let you on the site,
but I digress.
How fucking old is Fred Durst anyway? The Faux Skating Wiggereffic
Bullshit is beyond old, please get youself an Oxycontin habit
quickly. Oh yeah, expect the current glut of homosexual (read:
queer) themes on TV and in film to be challenged in Congress as
the Anti-Poofter Brigade loads up for another round. Just before
CBS (network most likely to on when you visit your aunt in the
nursing home) debuts its new Prime Time Ratings Bombshell Chicks
with Dicks; The Miniseries. Oh, my point...Pent-up Wepublican
TM day traders suck...
Cloning is Kewl! Cloning animals means that Fluffy will live
forever and ever and if you forget to feed him for a month or
so or his ass gets chopped up in the fan of your 74 Caprice, so
what, just scrape up what is left of the spare DNA and BAM! Fresh
We could make the all the botched human clones our slaves. This
needs absolutely no explanation. Slaves would be cool.
The sexual implications of cloning seem to go about as far as
the imagination will take you, multiple partners, only fine lookers,
if we can only figure out a way to shut down the "bitch and moan"
portion of the genetic code and double the width of the helios
responsible for blow jobs then count my soda cracker white ass
in there fartcatcher.
As you can see the jury has read the decision fat boy, cloning
is cool. Court adjorned. Doing it all for the Nookie.
I Just Don't Fucking Care