Inside the hermetically sealed pill is a small video recorder,
fueled by an off-the-shelf watch battery, and a light source.
An Isoplast covering, made from a Dow Chemical plastic, allows
the pill to be swallowed easily. The whole thing is digestible
from tongue to tail-hole, it will pass photographing everything
in-between. Shit. Literally. I ain't describing something from
a film folks, this is the new "gastro-cam." that on
August 1, 2001 was approved by the FDA. Will movie making ever
be the same?
Here are the facts: The US Food and Drug Administration approved
a digestible video capsule for use in diagnosing disorders of
the small intestine. A "Pill-Cam" if you will.
The patient swallows a largish pill containing a tiny color video
camera, a flashlight, a radio transmitter, and a watch battery.
Once ingested, the gastro-cam "glides smoothly through the
digestive tract and is naturally excreted," according to
the company's promotional literature.
The patient is at liberty to perform their normal daily routine,
while wearing a belt containing a receiver. An array of small
antennas stuck to the abdomen intercept signals from the micro-submersible.
The images are later downloaded into an ordinary desktop PC,
where proprietary software crunches the data into still images
and digital video sequences. According to the manufacturer, the
technology produces video files of greater clarity than even RealPlayer
is capable of streaming, and so must be downsampled for web distribution.
Now let's think about this a little. Fimmaking from the inside
out. Damn, I love technology, and this development in the same
week as Dr. Zavos'
cloning presentation in Washington, D.C. Dr. Z is a acqaintance
of mine in the real world, believe me when I say, "oh yeah,
Dr. Z will clone an embryo, and mail a photo of it to the POPE!"
But i digress, a camera you can swallow, you talk about exploitation
films, wow. In teh early days of the government clamping down
on the "subversive" filmakers in the late 30s and 40s,
the issue of sexuality was skirted by novelity bits added to melodramatic
little pictures. You know, "Real LIve Childbirth" or
"Sex Change Operations" and excuse to show a nekkid
tally-wacker or a engourged breast would suffice.
Well in the year 2001, guess what Papaw, you can take a ride
with an honest to goodness turd, "yep, all aboard kids, we
are driving the ol' brown bus down the muddy road!" You may
have read my musings
on the current state of internet porn but his is all together
a whole "new" ball game.
If this pill-cam can survive from the mouth to the ass, then
my guess is you can insert it where ever you might fancy. A whole
new line of fetishes can be provided with this new technology.
nostrils, throats, etc. can be photographed
alone, with objects inserted, excreting various substances and
so on and so on and shooby-dooby-dooby. You can't tell me this
won't be developed in a personal use gadget. Who needs one of
those $69 webcams when you can see what my
spincter is doing 24 hours a day and also who is stopping
by to visit it.
But pornography aside, I think this can be a unique filmmaking
tool, especially for us genre flick freaks. Imagine the effect
of a camera placed inside a exploding chest. How about lines delivered
from your larnyx's point of view..."you talkin' to me?"
I mean you are only limited by your puny mind's creativity. If
you think the steady-cam revolutionized filmmaking, you wait till
I re-shoot Last Tango In Paris shot for shot with my new ass-cam.
Or the blow-job scene from Bad Lieutenant from the inside of a
Jersy gals mouth or how about the Caligula horse fisting...makes
you wonder what Hollywood will come up with. A camera the size
of a damn multi-vitamin, hell not much much for me to mad about,
and clones will be running it. Kewl.
Prof. Tread Pill-cam projects in the works:
Inner Septum: The Tom Savini Story
Forbidden Planet 2: Return to Uranus
Polyp of The Apes
Poop on Tread