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Inside the hermetically sealed pill is a small video recorder, fueled by an off-the-shelf watch battery, and a light source. An Isoplast covering, made from a Dow Chemical plastic, allows the pill to be swallowed easily. The whole thing is digestible from tongue to tail-hole, it will pass photographing everything in-between. Shit. Literally. I ain't describing something from a film folks, this is the new "gastro-cam." that on August 1, 2001 was approved by the FDA. Will movie making ever be the same?

Here are the facts: The US Food and Drug Administration approved a digestible video capsule for use in diagnosing disorders of the small intestine. A "Pill-Cam" if you will.

The patient swallows a largish pill containing a tiny color video camera, a flashlight, a radio transmitter, and a watch battery. Once ingested, the gastro-cam "glides smoothly through the digestive tract and is naturally excreted," according to the company's promotional literature.

The patient is at liberty to perform their normal daily routine, while wearing a belt containing a receiver. An array of small antennas stuck to the abdomen intercept signals from the micro-submersible.

The images are later downloaded into an ordinary desktop PC, where proprietary software crunches the data into still images and digital video sequences. According to the manufacturer, the technology produces video files of greater clarity than even RealPlayer is capable of streaming, and so must be downsampled for web distribution.

Now let's think about this a little. Fimmaking from the inside out. Damn, I love technology, and this development in the same week as Dr. Zavos' cloning presentation in Washington, D.C. Dr. Z is a acqaintance of mine in the real world, believe me when I say, "oh yeah, Dr. Z will clone an embryo, and mail a photo of it to the POPE!" But i digress, a camera you can swallow, you talk about exploitation films, wow. In teh early days of the government clamping down on the "subversive" filmakers in the late 30s and 40s, the issue of sexuality was skirted by novelity bits added to melodramatic little pictures. You know, "Real LIve Childbirth" or "Sex Change Operations" and excuse to show a nekkid tally-wacker or a engourged breast would suffice.

Well in the year 2001, guess what Papaw, you can take a ride with an honest to goodness turd, "yep, all aboard kids, we are driving the ol' brown bus down the muddy road!" You may have read my musings on the current state of internet porn but his is all together a whole "new" ball game.

If this pill-cam can survive from the mouth to the ass, then my guess is you can insert it where ever you might fancy. A whole new line of fetishes can be provided with this new technology. Assholes, vaginas, nostrils, throats, etc. can be photographed alone, with objects inserted, excreting various substances and so on and so on and shooby-dooby-dooby. You can't tell me this won't be developed in a personal use gadget. Who needs one of those $69 webcams when you can see what my spincter is doing 24 hours a day and also who is stopping by to visit it.

But pornography aside, I think this can be a unique filmmaking tool, especially for us genre flick freaks. Imagine the effect of a camera placed inside a exploding chest. How about lines delivered from your larnyx's point of view..."you talkin' to me?" I mean you are only limited by your puny mind's creativity. If you think the steady-cam revolutionized filmmaking, you wait till I re-shoot Last Tango In Paris shot for shot with my new ass-cam. Or the blow-job scene from Bad Lieutenant from the inside of a Jersy gals mouth or how about the Caligula horse fisting...makes you wonder what Hollywood will come up with. A camera the size of a damn multi-vitamin, hell not much much for me to mad about, and clones will be running it. Kewl.

Prof. Tread Pill-cam projects in the works:
Inner Septum: The Tom Savini Story
Forbidden Planet 2: Return to Uranus
Polyp of The Apes
Reflux Dogs

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Prof. Tread'sRant Archives: Read Them All and Pass Them Around!
Rant 1: Cloning is Kewl!

Rant 2: March Madness, Mayhem and Milk of MagnesiaTM

Rant 3: Some One Should Have Told Me!

Rant 4: Where has MY porn gone!

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